Spike (rpg) Adam (rl) (rpgspike) wrote in buffyangelrpg33,
Spike (rpg) Adam (rl)

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Pacing..walking..no where to go

Do I miss sex or smoking more? I think at this point I miss being able to touch things,pick them up, throw em down. Bloody Powers To Be, how dare them take my life or unlife as if may be and play with it this way.

Fred is the only one out of all these idiots that I can stand to be around for more than 2 seconds. Maybe that's because she's that only one who seems to care that I may be in pain here. Maybe this is Hell I am in now, fearing what's to come of myself, the not knowing.

My mind is always on the Slayer, my Slayers. I wonder how she is, what's she up to. That's hell in itself. I would like at times to feel nothing of her in my soul, but mostly feeling her is all that gets me through this. I rather not be here now if I couldn't feel her in my heart. But at the same time it's hell, fucking bloody hell. Fuck I'm talking to myself again, well nothing else to do..ghost don't sleep.
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